Monday has inadvertently become Health Day for me. Used to be it would be Wednesday when I'd go see my acupuncturist, chiropractor, sometimes my energy healer, and then head off to yoga, but my travel schedule had me running all over the place and didn't make it easy for me to stick to anything. So somehow, Monday has turned into the day that I take care of me. I can certainly think of worse things to do on a Monday.
But starting my week this way has been necessary for my well-being over the past few months. I've been battling a lot of stressors for quite some time now, and I've been finding that by the end of each week I've been completely drained. My therapist has been my champion in that regard, helping me to see the bright side of things when I'm tempted to bitch and moan. And this week she said something to me that kind of jarred me. Namely, "I think you had to go through all of this to learn how to accept help, and to accept that people want to help you."
Whoa.
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It's hard to learn how to accept help (I'm still pretty bad at it) when, for your whole life, you've learned that being self-sufficient and strong enough to "do it on your own" is the way to be. I think the only thing to do is think, "would I mind if a friend needed me in this way?" and go forward on the answer to that question.
That's a tough lesson to learn and one that I seem to need to learn over and over again. I've had my financial ups and downs and, like you, treated many a friend to meals, airport runs, loans, etc. But when it comes around to be MY turn? I hate it.
Still, I'm better at it now than I was 15 years ago, that's for sure. It's the asking for help that takes the most work for me. Or the admission of guilt that, yeah, I'm broker than snot.
I do agree, though, with your therapist. People love being with you so it's not really an issue. It helps to view it from the other side of the coin, too.
Your therapist really does have her noodle screwed in right, doesn't she? Bless her, but I totally get where you are coming from. I hate being in debt to people but have no problem giving my last penny to someone to help them out... and the asking for help thing? I think I'll just put down a series of Yes, yep, absolutely's etc and nod like a dog for a bit.
