So like I said, I'm over my hissy fit from Friday. And I'm almost embarrassed to read what I wrote because to me, it comes off as so childishly ego centric: "But what about me! What about what I want?!?" Which isn't entirely the case, even though there might be some of it in there. I will say, though, that the comments definitely helped. But I think the other thing that helped was, after moving all that sadness and pain out of me, I was able to get to what the root of the problem was.
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Loving and accepting someone for who/what they are is a great thing -- but you know? So is pushing them toward being as amazing as they can be, just as they did you all those years ago. You're allowed to feel bummed out by the situation and hopeful that it'll change.
I'm glad you're feeling better. Don't be embarrassed by what you wrote -- you wrote what you felt. It's perfectly valid.
Sometimes, people can't continue to walk the talk. And sometimes the needs change.
I know I've fought like heck to achieve something I wanted and then found it wasn't all I hoped, and that, although other people thought I was insane to walk away from the opportunity, for me, it was the right thing to do.
I ended up happier and more true to myself by making that choice than the choice which, to others, looked like it was more "me".
I totally agree -- one can't ever stop growing, changing, and learning. And yet, there are also times where we need "time outs" from what's expected, from what's usual, even from our choices, in order to replenish.
Glad you're feeling better.
I have bad WEEKS sometimes, it seems. Bad MONTHS, even. But I know what's good for me, and that's reaching out to my friends. Most of those are online and not local. I know that the more I stay in my house and don't go out, the worse my symptoms get. So even when I don't feel like it, I try to get out, maybe hit the local coffee shop and do my online stuff there instead.
It's a valuable lesson, I guess, to learn that we can't stand in anyone's shadow for too long.
Sandra - true, but how do you tell the difference between the two?
Devon - thank you. I'm really enjoying your insights. They're super helpful.
Karl - but see, that's awesome. You know your limits, and your boundaries, and you don't give up. I say that's admirable.
