So the reading last night? Super cool.
read more ↓I'd love to say I wasn't nervous. Or rather, I was but I wasn't. I wasn't because I knew I was going to be among friends and people I love like family. I was because as my friend Dana put it, "I think among the top stressors in the world like moving and finding a new job, reading your sex memoirs in front of an audience is right up there." Yeah. I mean, it's deeply personal work - even the fun stuff! Writing it is one thing, reading it is another.
But I was very fortunate to have some wonderful people share the evening and join in on the celebration with me. There were friends I'd met from the online world, friends that I'd met through smutland, friends that are new and wonderful, friends who left award shows to make the tail end of the party because they wanted to be there, friends who have been with me through seven years of Los Angeles mayhem. It was so comforting to look out into the audience and see familiar and smiling faces on the book's maiden voyage.
Ian and Alicia, the proprietors of Freddy and Eddy, did such a fantastic job with everything from calming me down to setting everything up. We had wine, we had finger foody stuff, we had a platter of incredible baked good from Schmerty's. The back patio was transformed with chairs for the audience to sit in front of the stage, which held a comfy, cushy brown chair that I decided needed to be leaned against while I read.
Ahh, the reading itself. The reading itself was fun. My friend Doug insisted on introducing me, which was awesome in its own right. Doug has an imagination that is seriously from another planet - he's such a character, and honestly, I was flattered that he was so insistent on introing me. I've not always been the best public speaker, and in the past I've had issues with being genuine out of fear that the genuine me wouldn't be well received. Earlier in the day a friend reminded me that being genuine on stage is a choice, and I know when I'm choosing wrong. He was right. And so when Doug stepped away from the microphone, I said the first thing that came to mind: "I'm nervous. I spend most of my time at a desk in front of a computer, so I think I'd be more comfortable if you were all on IM."
It was true. But this is something that's important to me, and I realize I can't properly convey the message of what I want to say and prove - that surviving can be a wonderful journey - without physically being out in the open to show it. I know public speaking will get easier with time the more that I do it, and I'm greatly looking forward to the next readings in Vancouver and New York. Thanks to some knowledgeable friends I now have some new tips and tricks for my next outing that should make it go a bit more smoothly. Not that last night wasn't smooth, mind you, but we're always our own worst critics, right?
As for what I read, I told the audience that I wanted to emphasize that the book is just as funny as it is tragic, so I chose to read humorous things. Namely, the story of my first trip to a sex store that led into my first official masturbation session, which later segued into the tale of how I became a sex toy tester and attempted to cast a dildo. I was happy that it seemed everyone connected with it, and afterward one friend told me, "I think those were the perfect sections to read, because I was able to hear that and say to myself, 'oh, well that part sounds like fun! I could read that!'" Which is awesome. That's exactly what I was going for.
The reading and party was slated to go from 8 to 10, but the last people didn't wind up leaving until 11:30. The stragglers in question were two gal pals, one of which was my first L.A. friend who has seen me go through several incarnations and has been through a lot with me. As we sat there chatting away about what's been going on, I had this moment of feeling so incredibly happy.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you to those of you who came out to support the book. I feel so grateful that you were able to share that with me, and for those of you who bought it, I hope you enjoy reading. There is more to come.
2 Comments
Congratulations!! :)
Thanks, Ingrid! BTW, I dig your blog.
