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April 29, 2008
"Hey Dirk. Still getting your mail. It's from the clinic. Somebody got themselves an STD."
Alright, so here's the story I was alluding to over the past couple of days.... ( read more)
11:01 PM
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Someone I knew in college got an STD from her jerk boyfriend, then refused to leave him no matter how poorly he treated her because she didn't think another man would ever touch her. I remember her being in severe pain and him telling her, "Geez, what's your problem? You're such a downer." |
I think my favorite part of this was "I'm not being judgmental but..."
I hope you licked the doorknob before you left. |
What a jerk. Guess it's a good thing you found out what he was like before it went too far. |
Stacey - goodness, that so sucks... please tell me she knows better now!
Eden - alas, he was at my house. But I did boot him out the next morning (I was too chicken to do it the night before.)
Karl - as far as I'm concerned, it went too far... but I was able to pull it back. |
***Headdesk***
The guy I hooked up with on New Year's brilliant statement:
"I don't have sex with hook ups. It's kind of slutty, and I don't want to get an STD."
Me: "Ok, you know you can get STIs from oral sex, yes? And that many people, myself including, consider oral sex to be sex?" (I decided not to go into my reclamation of the word "slut.")
Him: "Yeah, but it's not the same."
Hmmm...clamydia in my throat, or in my cunt? Yeah, tooooootally different. We proceeded to hook up, and then I found he was another one of those "I only go down on women I'm in love with...but you can still suck my cock" kind of guys. Lovely.
Henceforth, I've decided to only have sex with sex-positive feminists. I don't have sex with guys hardly ever anyways, but EVERYONE who is going to get near my vulva (men, women, genderqueer, trans, you name it), needs to be a) actively against sexual assault and working on its prevention, b) a feminist, c) sex positive, and d) not an asshole.
I admire you for being so open about it; writing about it, blogging about it, etc. I don't know if I could be at that point if I had an STI, just because of people's reactions. However, I do think it is a blessing. Just like I'm glad I'm chubby, and have a ridiculously vibrant personality, and am an outspoken liberal feminist. Because if I wasn't, who knows what types of phobic driftwood I'd end up with... |
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April 28, 2008
"My schedule however, is as open as my relationship with my wife. "
Just a quick hit for tonight, as my day got swamped and I ran out of time... but I wanted to pass along some info from my friend and colleague Tristan Taormino, who has launched a brand new website in anticipation of the release of her new book May 1.... ( read more)
April 27, 2008
"Home stretch, baby."
This weekend didn't exactly go as planned. I thought I was going to spend it working and finishing a whole bunch of articles that I need to finish, but I was way more exhausted - from Barbados followed by a week of mayhem leading up to the reading - than... ( read more)
April 25, 2008
"I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards."
So the reading last night? Super cool.... ( read more)
11:24 AM
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Thanks, Ingrid! BTW, I dig your blog. |
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April 23, 2008
"Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!"
So first things first for those who are blogging for the GBBMC: there is a little glitch with the RAINN donations page where it won't let PayPal users enter anything in the "in honor of" box, so they can't say they're donating in honor of your blog. If - and... ( read more)
11:20 AM
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What an awesome story!
I'm sorry I can't come to the book launch party tomorrow night, but know it will be a blast!
Jen S. |
What lively adventures. Saw Neil shout-out your book launch. Congrats. |
Nice.
Glad you just got a ticket and didn't get the car impounded. |
Jen - you lied, you were totally there. :)
Pearl - thanks! And I see you're Canadian, from Ottawa. Never been, but maybe I'll make it out that way at some point with the book if all goes according to plan.
Peggy - that car was cursed, I swear... I wound up nicknaming it the Death Car. (Not to be confused with the Death Couch, which is actually a compliment to the couch.) |
Yeah, I saw the email. I'm not going to chase down PayPal users. I just hope people donate! |
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April 21, 2008
"Oh, I give up. I'm too exhausted to eat."
Hoo lawdy. What a week. I took off last Tuesday on assignment to Barbados and got back last night. Believe me when I say I wanted to update while I was gone - no, really - but the freakin' hotel blocked me from my own website. I could check my... ( read more)
8:49 PM
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I'm going to have to read your book, Carly. You're giving me the inspiration to finish writing my story, and that's not easy to do. So many secrets, so many lies. Plus having my abusers still (for the most part) be alive...it's a mess.
Good luck with your book release. |
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April 14, 2008
"No, this is the Valley. Finland is the capital of Norway."
So one of the announcements I've been sitting on is that the amazingly prolific and talented Rachel Kramer Bussel and I have teamed up to launch In The Flesh: L.A. For those of you who don't know, Rachel launched a monthly reading series in New York called In The Flesh... ( read more)
8:31 PM
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I'm so excited about this and can't think of anyone else I'd rather partner with. And you can be sure I will bring some cupcakes! |
There was some discussion with a "best friend" of mine who was bisexual (and more often said "gay" instead b/c he was further to the gay side than in the middle, if that makes sense) about marriage. I really, really thought that it would work, sex aside. Now I know that there's a certain intimacy that I needed in marriage that I wouldn't have had with him. While marrying that "best friend" can be a good idea, I have to disagree w/ Peter in general. Now if you find a best friend where the sex clicks, yes, that *is* the best possible outcome. :)
Oh and of all the many things I'll blog, deep thoughts that relationship isn't one of them. Maybe I should blog that... ;) |
I get to see it soon! Yay! |
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April 13, 2008
"Wow, sugar puss, you've certainly been a busy little bee."
Wow. This week has been just incredible. I've been so busy that I haven't had the chance to catch up with all the participants in the blogathon (I'm making my rounds today!) or blog or do any of those things. Wonderful things are afoot at the Circle K, though, and... ( read more)
1:38 PM
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Fantastic, glad this is getting some good coverage. |
Carly -
Thanks for your comment(s). Here are some reading suggestions on Butch/Femme:
*Back to Basics: A Butch/Femme Anthology
*Butch is A Noun
*Brazen Femme - Queering Femininity
*Female Masculinity
*Femme; Feminists, Lesbians and Bad Girls.
*Genderqueer
I'm sure Sinclair has a more in depth list, as I am much more of a newbie.
By the way, I have been meaning to tell you, I read Naked Ambition when I first started working with a feminist porn company (Nov. 2006...it was a required read for my job), and you are the reason I'm still rocking the way I am, and I even wrote a post about being a feminist in the adult industry as a delayed response. Thanks for being so AWESOME! |
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April 8, 2008
"We're done here but no more rabbits. Keep the boys away from the girls."
I have been incredibly, joyously busy. I can't even begin to tell you what the last week has been like for me, and it's been all good... and I can't wait to share. But you'll have to wait. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not spending all my time on Facebook...... ( read more)
9:21 PM
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"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not spending all my time on Facebook"
LIAR!
(I kid! Sort of.) |
Was I the ONLY kid that had no dirty magazines in the house growing up? |
I'm going to hazard a guess and say yes. ;) How on earth did that happen? |
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April 7, 2008
"I could use a good discussion myself."
Today I'm actually peeling myself away from the computer for a while to go venture out into the real world, so for now, just a discussion point. Have you heard about the "I Was Raped" t-shirt? What do you think about it?... ( read more)
10:08 AM
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Yes such a t-shirt will be controversial. However, it may be a comfort to the women who have suffered in silence to know that they are not alone. |
You know, I don't really know HOW I feel about that. On one hand I think it's a very brave thing to do. On the other hand - the hand of the child that was abused - I cringe. |
I feel on both sides as well. On one side, I am all for reclaiming space, and letting people know about that part of you, and getting the word out. On the other side, I wonder two things; a) will it possibly a trigger for people that *have* been raped and bring it back right there and then (just seeing the shirt, not wearing it) and b) will women who are not comfortable wearing such a shirt feel bad about not being ready/able to do such a thing, and feel that they are not "normal" survivors because they AREN'T wearing the shirt?
Hmm. Just some thoughts.
-Essin' Em |
I agree with bobolink. There is a degree at which you need to no longer be silent. There's an elephant in the room or the emperor has no clothes, but we can't talk about it.
The reality is too many women and a few men experience rape and aren't encouraged to talk about it in polite company. The silence grows and allows us as a society to not deal with rape in a systematic way to erradicate it. Who wants to be polite about rape? The folks who use rape to define and control women in our society (or men in prison). The threat of rape keeps us off the streets at night alone, etc. Hence take back the night marches of the 80s +
I'm reminded of the "I Had An Abortion" t-shirt that came out a few years back. Wearing allowed the woman to talk about her experience and not be silenced about the choices she made. |
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April 5, 2008
"And in case you haven't noticed, baby brother, Finland is the bloody North Pole. Therefore, a very special gift for you this year."
So before I get started with today's post, a PSA. I have finally bowed to peer pressure and put together a Facebook profile. It's pretty much surrounding the book and related events that are coming up (which I haven't told you about yet, but trust me, it's all very exciting),... ( read more)
12:08 PM
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Good for you, sticking to your guns. Sometimes I fall into old habits, too, even though I know better. Humans, we're a faulty lot. |
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April 3, 2008
"And to 'shake your booty' means to wiggle one's butt. Permit me to demonstrate..."
Before we get started, I want to alert you to the Participants page for the GBBMC:08 RAINN fundraiser. This is where you can find everyone who's participating in the blogathon, and can I just say, I'm finding out about a whole schwack of blogs I should've been reading all along.... ( read more)
9:35 PM
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For booty shaking perfection:
Cobrastyle by Teddybears,
Freak Like Me by Sugababes (Let me lay it on the line, I got a little freakiness inside)
Juicy by Better Than Ezra
but, truly, really, honstly ohhhhhh... Feelin' Love by Paula Cole... mmmm |
I like anything by Tricky. And oddly, "America" by Eminem. :)
Also, I'm super-excited to start writing for the fundraiser after Wednesday (when the insanity ends) |
I love my booty shake list! I usually listen to it while walking along the East River in Manhattan. Excerpts include: Shakira, Justin Timberlake, Jennifer Lopez, Destiny's Child, and the Black Eyed Peas (and Fergie - goes without saying, after previous). I am NOT embarrassed about any of them. Okay, a little. But not Shakira. HOTTT. |
Sandra, why does the Eminem connection not surprise me? But "America" seems like grudgef*ck music to me... which isn't always a bad thing, I suppose!
CN, which songs in particular?
And now I'm off to go hunt out Bec's playlist... |
If you have any trouble finding them give me a wave! |
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April 2, 2008
"How about celibacy? Does that sound like fun?"
I figure if I'm going to insist that people write about sex for charity, then I should probably do the same. Obviously I'm not up for any of the prizing, but that shouldn't stop you from donating to RAINN and naming GBBMC:08 and my blog in the "donation in honor... ( read more)
2:24 PM
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She does indeed have a mind like a steel trap. I met her the first time at your bday party, then ran into her another time at a burlesque party about 2 years later. She remembered me!! I was flabbergasted. |
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