"Oh, all kinds of fun. Matter of fact... things are just getting good."
Do you ever notice that there are just some times of your life where you realize you’re exactly where you need to be in order to both let go of the past and move forward to your future? I’m in one such place right now. And it’s not that I’m still having issues with my past or that I’m stuck or anything like that. More just that it’s… a new beginning.
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I’ve been feeling that way for about a month or so now, and felt it really strongly when I was in the Bahamas. Maybe it’s because this time’s trip was for me. Or maybe it’s because this past year has been so tumultuous, so stressful, and so full of growth that it’s taken until now for everything to even out and settle in. Then again, it could be because for the first time in nearly a year I have only one deadline to focus on, and in an effort to give my brain a break, I’ve actually been relaxing, laying around and watching the world go by. Likely it’s a combo of all three, but whatever it is, it all just feels right.
I remember how I started 2007 – barely. I’d put on a brave face about setting my intention for having a better year and played like I was Little Miss Positive, when in actuality I was gripped with fear. That whole notion of “fake it til you make it” doesn’t work for me. I was faking it big time, and the first six to nine months of the year certainly reflected that. I’ve spent a lot of this year feeling drained, and the last quarter has started to rejuvenate me in a way that I didn’t expect. Everyone I know has asked me how in the hell I survive so many plane trips in succession across so many time zones, and the honest answer is I don’t really know… but clearly it was meant to happen that way, because my whole life has shifted in a completely different direction since September.
Obviously I have no clue what 08 has in store for me, but it already feels better than it was feeling this time last year, if that makes any sense. Something is shifting and changing, things are making way for something big. And this time I actually feel it in my bones, instead of faking like I do the way I did this time last year. Scripts, books, more travel, moving in the direction of Hawaii a little more every day… I’m greatly looking forward to the day that I can wake up and walk out onto a balcony overlooking a gorgeous expanse of palm trees, beach and crystal clear blue water, and relish in the fact that said balcony belongs to me, not a hotel. Not that the former is a shabby way to wake up, mind you – I greatly enjoy it. But something about living there is different.
Anyway. I’m spending too much time on my computer considering the scenery I have just outside my door. Time to go convene with nature…
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