(Please note that the following entry reads like it's being typed in broken English because the keyboard at the internet cafe I'm currently typing this at seems to havecertin keys welded into place, makin it near impossible to type properly. Thank you for your patience. I appreciate you continuing to hold.)
For those of you who are looking for the ultimate weight loss solution, look no further: I have found the answer. And all it takes is three easy steps.
1. Eat Thai food.
2. Pack enough belongings to last you three days in a backpack.
3. Carry said backpack through Thai jungles and hilltribes.
Lemme break this down for you step by step.
read more ↓1. Eat Thai food.
Here's the thing about Thai food: not only is it incredibly flavorful and delicious, they actually believe in portion control here. I knew America was big on super sizing, but I didn't really realize how much so until I came here and had an actual serving of food instead of being served a plate so heavy it needs pack mules to bring it to your table. I've mostly stuck to having green curry and coconut soup with chicken and various veggies, but have deviated a little to include cashew chicken and the like just to have a little variation. It's really amazing when you realize how little you need to get you through the day, and how much you wind up eating at home out of habit.
2. Pack enough belongings to last you three days in a backpack.
Shut up, all o you who know me - I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I packed all my make-up, my hairdryer, six outfits and some matching jewelry for good measure.... but no, nyet and non. I packed the following:
* A sarong for bathing.
* A sweater.
* A blanket.
* Minor toiletries.
* Snacks.
* An air mattress (my only luxury, as I have a bad back and can't sleep on floors and whatnot lest I wish to wind up crippled.)
And that's it. Save for the pants, shirt, shoes and hat I was wearing, I pretty much packed like I wasn't allowed to bring anything with me. Why? Well...
3. Carry said backpack through Thai jungles and hilltribes.
On Sunday we pulled into Chaingrai and stopped at the PDA (which loosely stands for People Development Agency... I don' have the exact info on me, but I'l update it when I'm not typing on the fly at an internet cafe), where we stored our valuables and hopped in a trck that took us to our homestay for the night. Our host was a man who taught English and music to the local school children, so as we ate our dinner that night, we were treated to a concert. After I told our host that I was born in Canada, he pulled out a book that two Saskatchewan naitives gave him as thanks for hosting them while they helped rebuild one of the villages. It was a huge coffee table book with pictures of Canada, and he asked me to show him where I'd lived and grown up.
"Did you see snow?" he asked me incredulously.
"More than I could stand, which is why I live in Los Angeles now," I told him.
He smiled and nodded.
The next morning we were driven to the edge of the jungle. Some of our crew opted to hire local porters for 300 baht. I, however, did not. No, I chose to carry my own backpack all the way up the mountain, through paths that were muddy, rocky, sometimes perilous and always entertaining. When we stopped for lunch at the foot of a huge waterfall, I dropped my bag and nearly began to cry as I restrained myself from kissing the ground. I'll spare you the realizations I had about carrying one's own bagage, mostly due to time constraints. But let's just say that first day's jaunt really shook loose some things in my brain.
We'd begun our trek around 9am and finished around 3, where we settled in at our own private building in the Lisu village. We took incredibly cold showers, then shopped at their local market to help bring an infusion of cash to the village. Often there's not a lot of money rolling around in there, so when foreigners come through, they sell various hand crafts and jewelry that they've made to get some moolah. It was nice to shop for a cause.
The next morning we started with a visit to the local school, where kids jumped on me like I was a jungle gym and demanded piggy back rides and twirling games. Having to trek after all that excitement was a little daunting - we were all pretty worn out from the kids, but on we went to the Akha village, where we took a illage tour before settling in for dinner.
That evening I saw the most incredible thing I think I've ever seen - stars. Yeah, you can make out Orion's belt (or Larry the Cowboy, if you're a purist) when you're in Los Angeles, but not like this. It was like the entire night sky was lit up wth diamonds, and I actually saw the Milky Way for the first time ever. It was so mezmerising that I sat out and stared for another hour or so after the others had gone on to play cards.
The next morning we started the last leg of our trek, which was all downhill. This is when th singing came in handy. We cycled through Whitney Houston's greatest hits, the Beatles, a little Madonna, and I actually managed to convince everyone to sing one little Christmas tune seeing as we're only six weeks away!) We stopped and bought some oranges from some local farmers, took a lunch break in the shade, and by the time we made it to the bottom of the hill, we were muddy, stinky, and badly in need of showers... but all feeling pretty accomplished.
I have no idea how much I've lost, but there's now a line running down my stomach that I haven't seen since I was 16 years old and my pants are fitting in a much more comfortable manner. But really, that's just a pleasant side effect to the incredible experience I had, lugging my junk through villages that have no hot running water, no Western-style pumbing, and the most incredible views of the hills and valleys below. (The only thin I find ridiclous is that I could get cell reception in the deep hills of Thailand, but not on the 405 through the Sepulveda pass in Los Frigging Angeles. Explain this to me, please.)
At the moment I'm in Chaingmai, having taken a bus thi morning from Chaingrai. I'm here for about three more hours, and then it's a 12 hour train ride to Bangkok, where I have one last day and one last dinner with all my travel mates. And hen it'sback home to Los Angeles... for five whole days.
Guess where I'm going next?
That's right: Disneyworld.
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