One of the most common arguments I heard against the porn industry was that all the girls who chose to get involved in it were either physically, emotionally or sexually abused – sometimes all three – or had abandonment issues of some kind. In some cases that’s true, in others it’s not. But for every person ballyhooing about people in the sex industry, why does nobody say the same shit about musicians and actors? Let’s look at a small list that comes to me off the top of my head, and while my brain is partially clouded by tryptophan, I’m mostly sure these are correct:
Tina Turner: broken home, a graduate of Ike Turner’s school of defense.
Halle Berry: absentee father, clocked in the head – supposedly by Wesley Snipes – so hard that she’s now deaf in one ear.
Ray Charles: absentee father, various forms of substance abuse.
Charlize Theron: abusive father whose death she later witnessed at the hands of her mother.
Fran Drescher: bound and raped in her home in front of her then husband.
Lindsay Lohan: Like I need to explain the shit she’s been through with her dad.
Etcetera, etcetera. To an extent, it makes sense to me that people who have this drive to be in the public eye in some way have something dark in their past. Not getting love and adoration at home? Fuck it – fans will fill the void! Except it won’t, but you don’t find that out until later when you’re drinking your face off at Mood while trying to have a deep conversation with Paris Hilton and you find yourself wondering, “Why do I still feel like shit?� I’ve long maintained that people who make the decision to become a part of the entertainment industry as a face should have a therapist assigned to them the minute they sign a movie or TV contract, especially if they’re not completely in touch with what’s driving them. Obviously not being directly affected by the Hollywood fast track I can only theorize, but I’m guessing I’m pretty bang on in saying that having your image dissected and analyzed by everyone from press to fans to your publicists and agents to studios and directors and trainers can really fuck up your brain, not to mention your metabolism.
So yes, Johnny both witnessed and experienced physical and verbal abuse before he got into music, but I’m torn as to whether or not that’s what led him to music. Obviously he had a passion for it when he was a child – that’s been well documented – but how much of that was escapism for him? And naturally when he starts hitting it big, he gets into the drugs and alcohol to bury the pain he felt about the relationship he had with his father, and he never really comes to terms with that (from what I saw from the movie, anyway). Ultimately, it was that pain that helped his creativity, which gave him memorable songs full of passion and heart.
But I think what bothers me most about this is... are there really that many fucked up people in the world? And I don’t mean that performers are fucked up so much as the people they encountered are – be that their parents, their significant others, what have you – and then that behavior was exposed to them. How in the hell have we created such a society that this kind of behavior is the norm? But on the flipside of that, as my generation continues to grow and have children and make concerted efforts to learn from their parent’s mistakes, what kind of creative people will be raised as a result? If it’s the tragedy that causes or fuels the creativity, what if there’s no tragedy to draw from? Of course there will always be various forms of tragedy in life, like heartbreak, rejection and not finding the perfect pair of shoes for a night out, but I wonder how much major negative life influences drive that passion and ambition to create.
Though writing is completely on the other end, I can’t say that my fucked up childhood experiences haven’t helped fuel me, both with that passion and ambition as well as the subject matter with which I wind up writing about. But I know there will come a time where my interest in those subject matters that fucked me up will cease. Do I worry that I’ll no longer have anything to write about? Nah. There’s always going to be something that intrigues me or makes me want to investigate. But I don’t know that I would’ve jumped into the subject matters I’ve been covering, and will be covering, if it weren’t for what shaped me way back when.
So I guess, in a round about way, this Thanksgiving I’m thankful for the catalyst that fueled me to create.
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